Childhood Issues & Adult Patterns

The environments we grow up in often become the first place we learn what relationships, safety, love, conflict, trust, and even our own worth are supposed to feel like. For adults who grew up in dysfunctional, unpredictable, emotionally unavailable, highly critical, or addicted families, some of the traits associated with Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families (ACDF), also known as Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA), can continue long after childhood has ended. We may become approval-seeking and overly concerned about disappointing others, have difficulty trusting people, avoid conflict or become highly reactive to it, take excessive responsibility for other people's feelings and problems, or struggle with boundaries and knowing when it is acceptable to say no. These patterns often began as reasonable ways of adapting to the environment around us, but in adulthood they can quietly influence whom we choose, what we tolerate, how we respond to criticism, how close we allow others to become, and how we protect ourselves when relationships feel uncertain.

The purpose of exploring childhood isn't to remain stuck in the past or assign blame for everything happening today. It is to recognize that some of our adult reactions may be old solutions to problems we no longer have. Through UNpsych, we begin to UNcover the experiences and family patterns that shaped us, UNderstand why certain reactions became protective or necessary, UNlearn the beliefs and survival patterns that no longer serve our adult lives and relationships, and Become increasingly able to choose how we want to think, respond, connect, set boundaries, and live today.

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